I’m sorry B!

Hey, internet!

Sorry I didn’t update this blog a while again. I finally could meet up with my friends again and we had so much fun planning my party!

That is until yesterday. :(

Basically what happened was that Berry burst into the room where the rest of us already were sitting together and started yelling at me and insulting me. At first I didn’t even know why, until she suddenly mentioned my blog. I have no idea how she found it, but she apparently did.

I, well, “hid” it from the others. You know, with that trick Iscariot showed me. But I must have done it on a day when she wasn’t with us and then forgot about it… so even when she took out her smartphone and tried to show it to them, they just laughed at her for that. Which made her even more angry.

Apparently she has read more about my Prince after discovering the blog and she’s basically not very happy about what she read. I think she thinks that I lied about Brute and that I am in one way or another responsible for his death, especially since Iscariot of all people is now kinda part of my family. But B, I promise, I didn’t lie! I didn’t do anything to harm him. :(

I don’t really know what to do. I can’t tell the others of the blog, if they don’t laugh at me for being starstruck around Story, they’ll do so because I have a supernatural being for a boyfriend. Or they’ll start judging Him. Really, B, it’s not even His fault… I don’t know what to say. :(

Even worse: I overheard my Dad and Officer talk today. Officer now knows that Iscariot enters and leaves this house as he pleases. I bet Berry told him.

I miss you already, B. I know I got mad when you came in yesterday, but I regretted it already when you turned around to go. Of all the girls, you’re the one I always related to the most and see, I really appreciate all you’ve done for me. I know that without you, I wouldn’t even have my friends and I wouldn’t be where I am now. You know I always followed your advice.

I bet we can think of something to tell them so they’ll stop mocking you. I really never wanted to “shove” you “from the throne” or anything. I don’t know what more to say, apart from sorry.

[Insert witty Title here]

So I managed to visit Officer today, together with Berry. Made for a nice little evening at the cinema (I wish that I wasn’t preoccupied with other thoughts, because “Sucker Punch” deserved to be appreciated at least a bit more than I can right now) and a conversation I really needed.

I feel a bit bad about what I wrote earlier, though. Since Brute had made such a sane and almost charming impression on me when I first met him, I automatically assumed that everything he did since then had been made on purpose because he was reproachful against me or something. That was very egotistical of me. Officer cleared things up there a bit – regarding Brutes behavior and the content of his notes (I showed a few to Officer), it’s quite obvious that something is wrong with him, in a mental disease kind of way. He might be sick and I just didn’t notice, but blamed him for everything instead. That sucks, and in hindsight, I’m really ashamed of how I thought about him earlier.

But even though, Officer warned me of underestimating Brutes potential for aggression against me. He would rather like me to go to the police and talk about all of this, but since I don’t want to, he could only advise me to ignore all approaches of Brute and tell him as soon as the notes turn into way more.

I didn’t tell him about the cell phone yet, maybe I won’t at all. The notes alone were enough for him to ask several times if I was sure about leaving my Dad and my friends alone with it. But I would rather try and talk about it to Brute once again or maybe to Story if I don’t dare. So I just said I’d rather try something else first without specifying what that something else was.

At least I now know that there’s someone I can go to if things turn out for the worse. The cell phone didn’t show up yet, but so did notes by Brute, so I’m at least somewhat in a good mood today.

In other good news, I didn’t have nightmares since the one with the rose garden. Just thought I should mention that, as I failed to deliver more dream narrations since then. So maybe everything might turn out for the better now.

Wish me luck, internet. :) Bye.