One more Time

Hey, internet!

Tomorrow will be my last exam! Finally! Catching up on more than a month worth of lessons and writing exams on them is such a pain in the neck… I’m glad that I’ll have some more time off now, even though the funeral is drawing near, so I still might be busy with that.

I was about to say that I’ll probably work during the rest of summer. But… I don’t need to. I’m a bit indecisive about that now…

Anyway, in my reply to Konaas last comment, I announced that I had something to tell you guys.<3

The past week, I started to… feel as if something had changed whenever I woke up. It felt as if someone had moved around something in my room just enough for me to not be able to point out what it was, but to notice it nontheless. Well, of course my Prince immediately was the main suspect, since He tends to always be there when I wake up, slowly retreating His limbs from me just when I open my eyes. I think it might even be His touch that wakes me up every morning, but I’m always just too late to consciously feel it or anything… I don’t even know.

Anyway, the past few days I noticed that it’s not my room that’s changing a bit, but it’s actually me! Like, one day I’d look into the mirror and notice that an annoying zit has finally disappeared, the next day my whole complexion looked a little bit better than usual and the day after, my hair had a really silky shine to it… Until, I think it was Wednesday or Thursday, I woke up while He still touched me. It felt strange because He did something with my body… I don’t know how to describe it. It felt a bit as if He, uhm… kind of folded me. Like, as if parts of me would n͟òt̨̀ be in the ri̴g̸ht place and he just put them back where they belonged. That sounds strange because it implies p̷ai̢n̶, but it actually didn’t hurt at all. It was just… minor relocations. I barely felt anything because I was so numbingly sleepy all the while. But when I finally got up and went to the mirror, my face looked a tiny little bit more symmetrical.

At first, I had to get over a bit of an eerie feeling of course. I mean, my boyfriend is tweaking my body in shape. But then I realized that between all the magazines I recently bought with beauty tips in them (because I wanted to be pretty for Him, gah!) He might have come to the conclusion that I wanted to look better. So He fulfilled that wish for me, just like so many other ones.

I’m also going to visit the house Riddles talked about with Him. Yeah, with Him, not Mister C. At first Mister C. suggested to take me, but He immediately made a gesture that suggested He didn’t want Him to do it and held out His hand to me. So we figured that He wants to take me Himself. Mister C. already prepared everything for Dad to be away Tuesday night and I’m really excited for our second date!<3

Okay, I really should go to sleep now to get a good amount of sleep before the final exam.

Goodnight, internet!

And now for Something completely different

Hey, internet!

Whoah, all those buggy comments… I wrote an email to WordPress though about the error and included some screencaps. So I hope that your comments will be fine again soon. :) I’m sorry!

Adele, John: Why are your comments not buggy anymore? The miau mio stuff is starting to get to me though. Why are you doing that?

Anyway, I figured you might like to hear about something else that sick German children’s books and dreamlike princes for a a change, so I’ll update you on my private life a little instead.

Ever since the club incident, I haven’t been to school – one month already, and the month in which all the finals are written. Yay, huh? Well, the police wasn’t amused about Officers private and unsuccessful little side project, so his boss now told him to stop it if he doesn’t want to endanger his job and the ones of everyone involved. Some of his friends who helped him were scared enough to give in to that threat and without them, his team is too small to watch over me daily.

I helped his conscience a little by lying about the roses and telling him that I didn’t get any more for a few days now.  Of course I did though, my Prince would never forget that!<3

Well, the principal wasn’t exactly happy when he learned that Officer had excused me all the time without official permission, but Dad, Officer and he talked and agreed that I wasn’t to blame for that.  So they decided that I’m allowed to write the finals at home in the beginning of the summer holidays. A teacher will come over and stay with me during the writing to make sure I don’t cheat. The way Dad described it, even the principal was kinda worried about me. There are some nice people around, huh?

Speaking of which, Dad is incredibly busy recently. He says that he suddenly gets tons of customers everyday, mostly people he never saw around before who order things he has to order himself because they’re so special (like some particular Japanese markers for painting and stuff). So he needs to come earlier to the store (to receive the deliveries) and close later and if he’s at home at all, he’s busy on the computer and telephone all the time, trying to get things I’ve never heard of before for his customers.
It makes me a little bit sad because we don’t do or watch stuff together anymore, but on the other hand, I’m asleep most of the time. My dreams are just so wonderful… I always meet up with him and then we take a walk somewhere (mostly in the rose garden) or go to nice cafés (they are empty aside from us, but there’s always cake and coffee on the tables) and such stuff. And he cheers me up, oh so much…

Last night, I really had a phase in which I was down and sad and thought that I was just imagining everything. I don’t remember how the dream I had started out, but my memory starts at a point where we were talking to each other and I remember a bit of the conversation really clearly.

Me: “…I mean – did I really think that there were such things as Princes on white horses who come to me in my dreams?”
He: “Yes. ‘Cause that’s exactly how you think. That’s perfect.”
Me:  “Perfect is so hard! And it doesn’t prepare you for disappointment.”
He: “Well, if it helps… you still look adorable, even when you’re disappointed.”

I can’t remember anything after that snippet, but it was so nice and comforting to hear that from Him. I now believe and trust in Him even more than before.
It all felt so familiar.<3

I’m sorry, I babbled about Him again… I just can’t contain myself.

So, I told you about Officer, my school… Dad… Oh, not all about Dad! Incidentally, he’s got a big  from another enterprise (didn’t quite catch what it was) so he’ll do his first business trip ever soon to help his customers choose the right material for everything and so on. So yeah – no Officer and no Dad for at least two or three days.
Of course Dad had to get a babysitter though. :( As if I was, like, ten or something.

I’ll report back in tomorrow (tired as hell again…). Have a nice one, guys!

Bye, internet!

Doodles

Hey, internet!

[I wrote that whole thing yesterday, but I accidentally clicked Save Draft. So you have it belatedly.]

Wow, what’s wrong with WordPress? Adele, John – your comments are all garbled up for some reason (don’t believe me? See for yourself). I could barely read them, but think I got the gist – thank you for your empowerment. I don’t quite get why I have to stay alone in that room, but I’m going to trust you and my Prince. :)

Now on to what I wanted to do since yesterday – the new doodles. Everytime I fell asleep and woke up again there were new ones.

The first one, I mentioned it in "Randomly awake at Night"

The second one, I found it later on.

And the third one. I found it today when I woke up.

(Did I ever tell you that the alternate title of the book is “Funny pictures and wacky stories for children”? Burning people sure are funny as hell, huh?)

Something that really confuses me is how the symbol that Brute drew is all over this stuff again. But his murderers did it to. So I’m not quite sure what to read into this…

I can also type the text here which is circled. I’m a bit too tired to translate it now but I can probably give you a very short rough summary.

Paulinchen war allein zu Haus,
Die Eltern waren beide aus.
Als sie nun durch das Zimmer sprang
Mit leichtem Mut und Sing und Sang,
Da sah sie plötzlich vor sich stehn
Ein Feuer[blackened out] nett anzusehn.
“Ei”, sprach sie, “ei, wie schön und fein!”
[The last three lines aren’t in the circle anymore.]

This was the first one from “Sorry”. The first one from this post is from the same story.

Doch weh! Die Flamme faßt das Kleid,
Die Schürze brennt; es leuchtet weit.
Es brennt die Hand, es brennt das Haar,
Es brennt das ganze Kind sogar.

Und Minz und Maunz, die schreien
Gar jämmerlich zu zweien:
“Herbei! Herbei! Wer hilft geschwind?
In Feuer steht das ganze Kind!
Miau! Mio! Miau! Mio!
Zu Hilf’! das Kind brennt lichterloh!”

That story is about a girl called Paulinchen who plays with the lighter of her parents and sets herself aflame. There’s not much more to it – she plays, starts to burn and burns to death.

The second one from “Sorry doesn’t actually circle any text, so I won’t transcribe it…

The other pictures are from the story of three boys who mock a little black boy because of his skin color. Santa Clause comes and dunks them in black ink so they’re even blacker than the boy they mocked (I know, I know right? The Germans have a strange view of “wacky”…).

The circled text is:

Es ging spazieren vor dem Tor
Ein kohlpechrabenschwarzer M[rest of the word crossed out and replaced with “ann”]

Gosh, I’m getting tired again. Actually I wanted to update you about my school life too, but I guess that has to wait until tomorrow since I’m close to falling asleep on my keyboard all of a sudden…

Bye, internet!

Randomly awake at Night

But still tired as hell.

Gah, now that I’ve opened the writing thingie, I can’t remember what I wanted to tell you about anymore.

Oh, right. New doodles. But I’m too tired to take photos now.

And I can’t find the DVD anymore. My room is a mess, but I hoped I could r̵͜͟ư̸͜ń̡͢ it while I fell asleep, I like noise in the room and the music is fabulous. Ah well.

Another rose arrived. They are so beautiful.

Going to sleep again. Nini internet!

Sorry…

Hey, internet.

I figured I should post something again, but I’m so dead-tired, I can barely look at the screen for long. Don’t even know why, I’ve slept a lot recently. I’ll just give you a quick update on stuff: Roses still appear, Prince Charming sweetens my every dream, and something’s up with the book. You know, the one I had to read for school? “Struwwelpeter” – I found it open yesterday and today and there’s pencil-drawing in it. I took some fabulous photos to share it with you:

The first page that has been molested.

A close up of the drawing.

That page was open yesterday. And today it was this one:

This time: words.

And more words.

Yeah. When the first thing happened, I had checked that page. The words appeared when I slept. Funny: The book was laying in my bed randomly when I woke up after sleeping ever since my last entry here. But Dad says it wasn’t him. I’m not sure wether to be alarmed by it… It could be my Prince.

I caught a glimpse of Him on the window. Just a quick motion, couldn’t see it too well. Today, my rose layed on my chest.

Gosh, I really am tired… sorry for bad spelling and stuff, tried to write decently, but I think I need some more sleep.

I watched the Sharpay movie! It’s truly fabulous. So I’m going to plug it here:

This just feels so much like my song! Especially ever since He’s in my dreams.

Going to sleep now. Bye, internet!

Prince Charming

Hey, internet!

Okay, so something incredibly beautiful happened. I didn’t tell you earlier, but the main reason for me to pull all-nighters all the time wasn’t the tapping on my window – I got used to that by night time. It was the fact that the nightmares had come back. I didn’t tell you in the last post because there were so many things to tell you that I simply forgot about it and I haven’t had the discipline to make notes everytime. But yeah, I have had really mad dreams recently.

Anyway. After the last blogpost, I pulled an all-nighter again. The rose arrived as usually and I put it to the other ones in the morning. The tapping was actually really faint this time, at least in comparison to before and why do I need so many words to tell you all of this I want to write about the actual dreams dammit! So I killed some time reading “Last Chance to see” and then went to bed far too late more because I simply passed out then because I really wanted to sleep.

At first, the nightmares started again. It were a lot, but I can only remember the last one well. I was walking through a big mansion at night and heard music and laughter from somewhere, so I followed those noises. I came to a big, double-winged door and opened it and there I stood in the middle of a ball room – and of an ongoing ball. My point of view changed a bit, I suddenly wasn’t walking around anymore but became an onlooker to the scene. So my vision panned through the room – which had walls made of mirrors – and then I suddenly saw the host: Myself, in a gorgeous black dress. Ball-Fiona talked to her guests so casually and moved so gracefully that I couldn’t help but think that she was actually a bit unlike me already.

And that was when she turned around and looked directly at me, with a really wicked smile. And she was like: “Oh, such an ugly face. We can’t have that here, can we? Let me fix that for you!” Or something like that and then she reached out to me and grabbed my face and tore it off (again with the face…). And then the pov changed again and I was suddenly her. But in the reflections of the mirror wall, I could see that I didn’t have my face back. There was just smooth skin on my head there. Everyone around me congratulated me that my face was looking exceptionally beautiful that night and I really panicked and that was when He came in.

The prince I dreamt of a while ago. He just ripped the whole picture of the ball apart as if it was a curtain and suddenly stood in front of me, His clothes dark with little bright gems on them – it looked like a night sky. Everyone at the ball flinched in front of Him and He felt so… so real in that moment. More so than the rest of the dream, far more so! And He held His hand out for me to take and of course I took it – gosh, He looked so… handsome – and He pulled me right out of my nightmare and into a wonderful calm place. I didn’t recognize it right away, but when He gently led me through it, I realized it was the rose garden. Beneath a big tree He pulled me into his arms.

And then I think He said something to me. I mean, I can’t remember the exact words, but the gist was something like: “You can rest now, I will watch over you.” And then music came from somewhere, He might have been singing, but I can’t really remember… I can’t even remember how the music sounded, just that it was there and that it sounded incredibly wonderful. So there I was, leaning against a beautiful prince, beneath a gorgeous night sky, while there was the most beautiful music around us I ever heard.

And then I fell asleep in my dream. And I had the most wonderful sleep ever. I can’t remember any dreams, but I know that the music continued through all the rest of the night.

But the most incredible, fabulous thing? When I woke up, I was like: “Aw, Prince… why do you only exist in my dreams?” And then, when I shifted in my bed – I found black rose petals on my pillow. They look and feel like the petals of the roses on my desk – but those don’t look as if they’ve lost any petals.

And my window was just a crack open, with a new rose lying on the sill.

This is not my enemy. I’ve got a real life Prince Charming who is on my side. Oh gosh this is so incredible… I mean, it only happens in fairy tales, right? But it is happening to me! Right here and now!

I need to find out more about Him! Especially why He doesn’t show Himself irl, but only in my dreams…

Thank you Prince Charming!

I’ll be up, looking if I can find anything about Him! If you have anything to contribute, please tell me!

Bye, internet!

Some Clarification

Hey, internet.

I’m sorry for not updating yesterday as I said I would, but it simply wasn’t such a good day for me. Nothing happened in particular that made me feel bad, I just… have some times when everything that happened the past few weeks kicks in again, especially thursday. So I didn’t do anything yesterday.

Dad is really sweet to me. I pity him for having to tell all my friends  that I can’t talk at the moment when they call on the phone, although I’m sitting and watching movies more or less right next to him while he does that. When he’s home at all, I should say. He needs to spend a lot of time working, so most of the day I can just let the phone ring until it stops.

Yesterday he came home earlier though. He’s the owner of a little store for artistic needs, so he always stays there after closing to do some paperwork, restocking and whatnot. It already makes me feel grateful that he seemingly skipped all that yesterday and went straight home.

He didn’t do much. There’s not much one can do. But he ordered some pizza, knowing exactly which one I’d like the most and without a comment sat down next to me on my bed while I watched “Alice in Wonderland”. Yes, he didn’t do anything. But he was there, and somehow, that alone was enough for me. I could snuggle up to him a little and sometimes I would cry a bit and he would pet my head, and sometimes I would just lie there and feel not-alone. In the end, I even fell asleep snuggled up to him, having weird Alice in Wonderland dreams (naturally… I’m going to tell you about it, although I don’t know if I will do it today or tomorrow). And when I woke up, he had tucked me in and put a little plushie on my nightstand, with a note saying: “Leftovers are in the fridge. Love you, Princess” and a cute smiley beneath.

I love you too, Dad. Very much so.

Well, uhm, that said I read over my last blogpost again today and realised that I totally forgot about quite some details, which made it sound… strange. I’m going to try and clarify things a bit, just in case you wondered (because I did if I’d care, and people seem to care about my blog).

1.) How do I know that the police have my cell phone? Easy, they told me in the interrogation room. Of course they weren’t like “Oh, Miss, by the way – we found your cell, you might want to have it back?” but rather… pointed out that it’s a strange coincidence they found the person who stalked me for a while murdered and then found him being in possession of my cell phone.

2.) How did they know it was mine? Because I actually have a little glittering sticker on it, saying “Fiona’s Fabulous FPhone!” There wasn’t much thinking to do I guess.

3.) If Brute found the blog via the cell phone and the police have it, why would I think that they don’t know about the blog? I never said that. I’m not going to tell them about the blog myself, that’s all. My views are quite high recently, so maybe there are some of the officers reading through it already. But they didn’t mention it to me yet, so I won’t mention it too and not give up hope it’s still a place for me and me alone. Well, and you, internet.

4.) Do I actually have anything to do with Brute’s death? No, and since that was so natural for me, I must have totally forgotten that no one can see into my memories and see that while writing. Reading my last few entries, I’d suspect myself of really being involved with the murder, just because I didn’t comment on that, like, at all. Since it’s possible that a policeman will soon slap me with a printout of my blog and ask me how I did it, I should maybe do it now, though. No. I didn’t kill him. At least not actively or voluntarily. I was at home the night they found him, I did my homework and went to sleep at a reasonable time to go to school the next day. I blame myself for making him feel the way he did towards me, and maybe not reciprocrating his feelings, and not talking to him when I had the chance to do it. I blame myself for not having stopped him from going outside that night, for not checking on the blog that evening, for not… stopping him from going out and being murdered. But I did not harm him and I didn’t encourage anyone to do it.

Something else about Brute: I don’t know if people can see who’s part of the blogs “team” or not, but he somehow added himself there to write the blogpost. And I’ll keep the account in there. I wouldn’t know much about how else I could make a memento for him, and I want to remember him and what I indirectly did to him. I liked him and looking at the blogpost I see what I liked about him shine through, as well as in his username. Both of which I should keep in mind. So I will keep that little bit of him close to me, and this blog – especially the admin center – is more or less as close as it gets. I think he would like that.

I’ll better stop writing here for now.

Bye, internet.

My Awakening

Hey, internet.

I’m sorry for the last two posts and… their content. It was a lot for me to take in and I needed some time for that.
It would probably have been even more time if it wasn’t for today. Let me explain from the beginning.

On thursday, just when I wanted to leave for school, the police came to my house. They told me that I had been excused from school for that day and then they brought me to the department. I think we talked on the way, but I was too scared and confused to remember what we said. I just know that Dad was sitting next to me, holding my hand all the time. They didn’t let him come to the interrogation room with me, though.

They asked me… no, they interrogated me about things like when I had last seen Brute and Story etcetera. And then they told me that Brute was dead. Someone found his body in the early morning. I felt as if… my brain just shut down then. When they brought me home, all I could think was that it was my fault, that I had someone taken his life away from him. Even if I didn’t, I still was the one responsible for him and his family not getting along well during his last days. Story and him had had a friendship all along, until this little blonde minx came along and parted them… And now they can never reconcile.

I still… think that… I dunno. That I am responsible. Partially, at least. But at least someof that burden was taken away from me today.

It started with me falling asleep. I know that I said I slept before as well, but… it was just kinda-sleeping. Not resting. But then, in the middle of the night, I finally really fell asleep and at first, it started out like all the dreams before – I dreamt that I was wide awake, still watching my movie. In hindsight I know it was a dream because the movie took a silly turn (it became a crossover of several Disney movies), but in my dream, I didn’t notice. I just continued watching, still feeling kind of numb, when a shadow fell on my bed. Thinking that it was Dad, I looked up – only to see my Prince stand there. He just stood there, saying nothing, slightly tilting his head while he observed me. For a short moment everything was even more muffled than usually, I barely could hear the Disney characters in the movie mull over how they wanted to rescue a princess. And then He reached out for me, handing me a single, black rose. When I touched it, a thorn pricked my finger and the pain was so intense that… my whole body hurt for a moment. And then every single feeling came back to me. All the anger and the sadness. I woke up crying, and I cried my heart out, and then I fell asleep again when I was fully exhausted and dreamt normal dreams. A bit dark and morbid I guess, but normal. Not this mindfuckery of the past few days.

In the morning, the police came back. They brought me to the department again and they were far less nice to me than on Thursday. Some questions were the same as on Thursday, but then they started asking things that made me wonder. If I had a boyfriend. If I knew someone who liked me very much. How much my friends knew about the stalking.
Where I was when he died.

I had thought that Brute had committed suicide, but I was wrong. He was murdered. From what I learned at the station (after the interrogation of course), someone had… ripped, literally ripped his heart out. And then put it back into the chest. In a plastic bag.

It’s so despicable that I feel sick thinking about it. But still… am I a bad person for a part of me feeling relieved just a bit? About that it was someone else who killed him, not the grief over me not liking him? Because I am. It’s as if there had been pressure in my head, and now a valve was opened and a big part of it just… came out. It’s still gruesome. I still feel bad, sad and angry. But it’s not overwhelming me anymore. I can actually feel it.
And I can actually think again.

I met Story at the station too. But he didn’t look like he was eager to talk to me – more of the opposite. I’ve never seen him glare at someone before but I think I did so at me when I came in. Maybe he suspects me to be responsible for Brute’s death, too. I can’t blame him, because I might indirectly be. Maybe Brute would have been at home if it wasn’t for whatever he wanted to do for me. For whoever he wanted to meet out there.

Which reminds me. Yes, I’ve read his blog entry. Macabre enough, I only discovered it after I came back from the Police on Thursday, and it made everything worse. I printed the entry out for the policemen today and brought it with me to the station because I thought they might need it, but I just told them he wrote the message to me, not where on the internet he did it. I do my best to tell them everything they need to know – thanks to Officer I do know that policemen have to work very hard and that every little clue can be just the one they still need to find the criminal. But they won’t find anything on my blog that I wouldn’t tell, give or show them anyway (they’ve got the notes now, too) and this still is my little, cozy place to myself I’m very protective of.

I’m digressing again, sorry. I’m better but my mind is still a little bit all over the place and it tends to avoid touching Brute’s blogpost as much as possible.

So. The blogpost.

It’s strange to read something that someone seems to say to you right out of his grave. Even more so when those words are so warm and nice, while all you heard of that person for the past few days was that they became more aggressive and distant. When I first read them, they pushed me head on into a fit of selfblaming and regret. Since the police found my cellphone, I suppose I was right about him taking it away. He must have found the bookmark of the blog because I had checked on it all day and then he probably lurked. Until he couldn’t stand my fawning about Story anymore and let some shady stranger…

I’m sorry. I still can’t forgive myself for… I don’t know. I think I need a little break, maybe I’ll write more tomorrow.

Le update

Hey internet!

Sorry for me not posting earlier, but I kind of didn’t want everything I wrote to be shoved into the “April’s Fools” corner. So I waited until today.

There’s not much to tell, either, but at least the few things are good news. I found out a bit more about Brute’s condition, although I don’t quite know what to make of it. Someone commented on my blog and seemed to know the things on his notes. I checked on her blog in turn and it sounds very much as if the monster he drew was the “Black King” out of a strategy game or MMORPG or I’mjustthrowingrandomwordsforgamesIdon’tknowbecauseIneverplayedthemoutthere.  I’m not sure what kind of game it is yet, though, because Thage (the commenter) didn’t answer my questions about that yet. But either way, it creeps me out a little bit less now in hindsight. I’ll just ask Story about it.

Who I didn’t have much opportunity to talk to this week because so many of the cool kids at school decided to be born in March/April and I have to attend birthday surprise party preparation meetings like every fifth minute. :(

My cell phone is still missing, but no new notes so far. Which is nice and the main reason for me being so upbeat today. Maybe Brute just had… I dunno, a rough patch and calmed down. Would be nice. Maybe he just wanted to pull a prank on me. Would be nice, too. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much too quickly.

The grades on the project with Story were good as well, I could answer some extra questions without any problem (thank you Story! You’re so fabulous<3) and thus might get a slightly better mark in German overall. Also: Breakfast lesson soon! Yay!

Even my dreams have gotten better. No nightmares so far. Just a really cute dream in which I was a Disney princess and spending a sparkly, pink, unicorn-rainbow-fartingly happy day with my princess friends. Hooray, sleep!

Okay, I need to go offline now though. Surprise birthday party at Barbie’s tomorrow. *sigh*

bye, internet!

Late Night Blogging

Hi, internet!

So yeah, a late night entry again. Because I have most dreams at night, duh.

This one I just woke up from and it’s still kind of fresh, so since I’m not feeling tired anymore anyway and want to get it done, I’ll just post it right away. I dreamt of a rose garden again, that I know – probably what I meant with the notes in my last blogpost. It was night and I can remember being a little bit afraid. But the garden was amazingly beautiful, full of perfectly-shaped, black roses. I think the dream started out with me wearing usual clothes, everyday stuff. When I was done looking around with wide eyes, I found myself wearing a really fancy black dress though. I looked up and in front of me stood a prince with black clothes as well, who smiled at me and held out his hand as if he wanted me to dance with him. That in itself is not nightmarish, but I remember that a strange symbol and the word “NO” flickered over his face in red, as if someone had edited it in like in a video. He seemed friendly to me though, and despite the flickering I could feel my heart pounding really quickly and my cheeks blush. In the end, I just couldn’t resist taking his hand anymore.

He started to dance with me, a waltz that could have been taken from a Barbie movie (they say *cough*).  The flickering went away after a while, as did the garden. We danced on a floor with black and white tiles like a chessboard then, I can’t remember if it was out in the open or in a hall or so, but it was well-lit. (Better than the garden before)

And then he finished the dance and it turned out that we actually were on a chessboard and I was in the position of the Black Queen.  All the chess figures were alive and having a nasty fight. A White Pawn made its way through the black rows towards me, but I stopped him, kissed him (???) and he went black all of a sudden. Then it came to my mind that I wanted to know the player and I looked behind me, but all I could see behind the chessboard was like the chest of a person in a suit. A very big person in a suit. I turned my head up to see them, but I woke up before my glance reached the face.

The dreams itself are not that terrifying. But something about them keeps making me feel terrible.

Meh. I’ll go get something to drink now and get back to sleep then.

Night internet!